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Publication time of this article: 17/1/2018 (515 days ago)
Therefore, the information in it may no longer be up to date.
I don\'t want to sound like a person complaining for a long time, but life has been a little harder recently than normal.
It has nothing to do with our cold control of a soul --
In a month, such a cruel force destroyed the cold current that trembling woodland creatures had been searching for electric fences to warm up desperately.
The problem is, what I have at home, what I rely on to get through the stress --
As a big day
The shooting professional newspaper columnist has begun to fail.
Take my front door as an example.
No, serious, serious;
Do me a favor.
I mean the country. of-the-
About five years ago, my wife insisted that we buy the art steel front door because our old wooden door was not as stylish as the other doors nearby.
I admit that our old door is not worth seeing, but it has two qualities that I am looking for in the modern front door, namely: 1)
You can open it. and 2)
You can turn it off.
Unless you have the size and strength of Hulk Hogan, it is almost impossible to open or close our gorgeous front door, obviously because of what the roller has --
Roller coaster weather, our house has been transferred and the door is annoying so it refuses to work the normal way.
Now to get into our house, you have to start running and throw your body in the door with the strength of the NFL defender.
It\'s the same when you want to close it-
Basically you hammer it with your whole body, and in those old kung fu movies you scream like a villain.
In the morning, when we wanted to take the newspaper from the front steps, we didn\'t even try to open the front door.
Instead, we rush out the back door, go through the garage, squeeze into the front porch, grab the newspaper, and trace back to our steps, and if you understand what I mean, hopefully a gust of wind won\'t blow away our shabby bathrobe, turn our medically sensitive areas into ice pillars.
So, we hired a doorman who came to our house the other day, frowned at our front door, and the TV doctor frowned at the medical records of a patient who had just been knocked down by a leisure car.
\"Well,\" muttered the doorman, frowning.
\"I\'m pretty sure I can fix it, but it\'s going to cost millions of dollars.
\"Well, technically he didn\'t say millions of dollars, but the problem is that we\'re going to have to spend a lot of change so we can enjoy the luxury of opening and closing the front door at any time.
This caused us a problem with the bathtub in the main bathroom.
The average reader will remember that if I was known for anything, I was known for starting the day in an hour
Soak in a hot tub for a long time.
Every morning, my daily life is the same.
Bring the newspaper (
I used to open the front door to do this, but not recently)
Then I climbed into a bathtub and I was filled with water that was hot enough to cook the soup.
Then, I would slowly lower myself into the tub, as I was about as big as the Hulk Hogan mentioned earlier, so put my feet on the tiles on either side of the tap, lie in the tub, and try to read the newspaper, until one or more of our dogs wandered in and asked me to put my arm into the tub and hang it on the edge so they could lick the salty hot water on the dripping limb.
Unfortunately, the only bathtub in our family has developed a bad habit in the past week --
It stopped draining the water we put in.
Instead, it will occasionally burp from the drain, and the water will sit there for a day or two like the sludge in the sewage lagoon.
\"You can\'t use the tub until we fix it!
\"What did she announce when I brought my wife into the main bathroom, hoping the tub would understand that it was in trouble.
So my wife dragged out her various plumbing gear, including something called a \"snake,\" trying to get rid of the blockage, but obviously, the lid rejection on our overflowing drain means now we have to call with a few professional drain guys so I can restore the hobby of soaking in boiling water.
The situation is so extreme that our friend Lena took her secret weapon with her the other night, a device called \"one second plumber\" and by the way, it was obviously some kind of air
The power piston, theoretically destroying the blockage and exploding the secret mixture of gas from the drain.
Finally, it did nothing but give us a few minutes of entertainment and false hope.
I can\'t take a shower for the time being, which means I\'m a little more fragrant than usual.
The good news is that no one can complain to my face that I smell because I haven\'t opened it yet (bad word)front door. doug.
Speirs @ freepress. mb.