by:Runcheng Chuangzhan     2019-10-02
Daily Mail\'s Linda Kelsey update: Dawn Frenchman and Lenny Henry were photographed together when they returned from their vacation in the Caribbean on April 29, 2010 --
Just a few weeks after they announced the end of 25. year marriage.
They are determined to keep a good relationship for their 18 years old, and it is all part of themyear-
Old Foster Billy
The general opinion seems to be that they deliberately wait until their daughter is an adult before calling the union to do a decent thing.
On the surface, it seems to be very sensible, but from experience, I disagree very much.
Why so many parents
Including my ex-husband.
Assuming that their adolescent offspring become emotionally mature adults overnight, they can suddenly handle the end of family life as they know it?
Do they think that the upcoming adventures in college will distract them from domestic family conflicts?
My husband thought the year our son went to college was a good time to end our marriage.
Although I can see that, in theory, if my husband is determined to go, it makes sense to do it when our children need their hands.
In the care of my parents, I feel that there is no recognition of the vulnerability of teenage boys and girls.
Boys are less likely to share insecurity with their peers or seek professional help, and are four times more likely to commit suicide than girls.
That\'s why I\'m so grateful that at least my husband\'s departure two years ago happened at the same time as my 19-year-old son, who started his first serious relationship with a lovely girl.
Thankfully, First Love proved to be a big distraction.
When I drove him to his first semester in college, I found myself recalling the feeling of going to college when I was 17 --
How shy I am, how difficult it is to make friends, how I struggle in my studies, but don\'t know how to ask for help.
I hooked up with the first boy who came to me, a boy who was bad for me, and he hit my low self
Further respect.
I didn\'t even know what depression was at the time, but, looking back, I \'d say I\'m close to it.
Luckily, after a hard year, I had a stable home to go back when I really dropped out of school.
But I still remember a girl in my lobby, her parents recently separated and she told me that she felt like she had been kicked out of her home.
So when it comes to dividing marital assets, my priority is to buy a house so that my son can stay there as often or as little as possible as he chooses.
Mark Fillon, head of consulting services at the University of Cambridge, said parental separation is one of the most common triggers for student support requests.
He said that on January, at the beginning of the second semester, I saw some first-year students whose parents had announced that they had divorced during the Christmas holiday.
Whether it\'s totally shocking or they \'ve seen it, most people are deeply affected.
This is likely to be brought into the student\'s current or future relationships.
\"If parents feel guilty and responsible, they tend to forget that their children feel the same way about their parents.
Mr. Phippen added: \"One of the students who came to me recently felt that his parents did not handle the situation very well and that he should go there and try to help with the arbitration.
Then there are parents talking to their adults.
It\'s like they\'re confidants.
But the students did not want to know the details of the bloody.
This is confusing, equivalent to the reversal of roles, where they become parents.
Ruth Hampton, 30, is from London and is the daughter of one of my closest friends.
She recalled that when she was studying for her, her parents were separated. levels.
My dad moved in.
The room apartment went with my mom to stay with her mom who lived too far from my school and I couldn\'t commute.
\"I had to live with a friend.
Everything went well when I was a dedicated student.
But you suddenly realize that you can\'t take relationships for granted, which makes you more vigilant.
Jemma Hockley, a clinical psychologist based in north London, noted: \"adolescence is a transitional period.
This is also a moment of separation.
But in the natural order, you are separated from your parents, not the opposite. \'How an 18-year-
The old response will depend on the individual.
If you have a strong sense of who you will be as an adult and find a solid core of friends, it will be easier than you feel uneasy about your identity, in this case, you are more likely to be off track.
My friend Karen West, who works at a mental health charity in Manchester, has been planning an exit strategy for several years.
She\'s just 18. year-
The old daughter Ella settled in at the university, leaving her husband and moving to her family and old friends hundreds of miles away.
For a while, Ella has been aware of the bad things between me and her father.
But she was scarred when it happened.
She is angry with me even now.
They are very close.
My husband Chris never cheats, he puts food on the table and he\'s not violent either, so Ella never understands I\'ll leave --
Even though she saw that he and I didn\'t agree on anything.
Karen believes that the worst consequence is that Chris is not picking up the mess and Ella is somehow responsible for him.
She said he was even closer to her university so she could live with him by studying.
Ella took on the role of being responsible for her own happiness.
I don\'t think that helps her to accept our separation at all.
However, at that time, I was more driven by drowning than Ella\'s survival.
It\'s even worse when parents start to rely on their children to replace their former partners.
Mike Willis, a physical therapist from Brighton, is a loving and loyal father who is very sad when his 20-year-old wife leaves.
\"She was happy to leave early, but her guilt eased by the time our youngest Sarah went to college.
She said she had done her part to prove it.
He admitted that he had a terrible deal with his two daughters: \"I am eager to be assured that I still need love . \".
I will call my girls in college and I often let them know how I feel.
I want them to be angry on my behalf and stand on my side.
\"I didn\'t let them continue their lives, but bothered them when they were supposed to get rid of me.
As a result, they go home more often than they want and check me out.
\"Then, when my youngest Sarah dropped out of college, we built the home together, and in a sense she became my acting wife.
It was a confusing moment for both of us, and I regret how I handled it.
While the impact of divorce on young children has been thoroughly investigated, the impact on adolescents has received little attention.
As one victim told me: \"It didn\'t really sink until the house was sold.
They have to separate addresses, neither of which is my real home.
\"I didn\'t sneak an attack as an adult, it punched me and I was very angry, confused and lonely.
Then, when they told me that they would break up a few years ago and that they were only together for me, I became more frustrated.
\"They want to tell me that they are together because they love me and care about me.
But, to me, they seem to be saying that over the years, I have some responsibility for their suffering.
My own son, now almost 22 years old, has a good relationship with his father and he is an independent young man.
But I did not lie to myself that he had survived the storm.
Divorce is a very troublesome thing for everyone.
There is no best age to announce to your child that mom and dad are going to be separated.
But those who think that late self-study teenagers are less immune to the emotional impact of divorce than younger children are very wrong.
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